Party
by Inu Kaiba
Summary: It was the mission to end all missions. A party, to be attended. The party of a famous author. And to get in undetected, they had to go in as two couples. So someone had to crossdress. SasuNaru. Minor KakaSaku.


Inu Kaiba: Welcome one and all to, my celebratory fiction! Yes folks, this is the celebration of my writing 100,000 words finally. And I think people need thanks for getting me here… Also only one month to my celebration of one month on Fanfiction.

**Thank you:**

**Roxyfoxy **(For writing with me to get me here, almost always reviewing and being my best fanfiction friend since forever)

**Alice **(For always reviewing and being a sense of encouragement, and a good friend)

**Kandra **(For trying to be there and reviewing and being my best friend in bad times)

**Yokaigurl **(For encouraging me to write something other than yaoi, and actually reading my yaoi stuff, I'm sorry that I'm no good at het, but I'm writing one just for you)

**Riekoish **(For adding me, Being my new source of yaoi, and being my latest best friend… You so totally rock, and I'm proud to group you with my friends.)

**Madison **(For like being a really good friend and telling me I don't suck at writing even though I pretty much do)

**And all my other reviewers and friends who have helped me significantly in my writing. Look at how great I've become thanks to you! I love you all! And now, onto the fiction.**

* * *

Party: The Stupidest Mission Ever

* * *

The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day in Konoha… For everyone but Team Seven, who just happened to be able to tune in on the bad vibes.

"You hear that?" I asked, poking Sasuke in the back.

"It's the sound of the loser bird, who needs to shut up for once." Sasuke grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking onward, trying to ignore the fact that Naruto had just poked him.

"Don't put your filthy hands on Sasuke's clothes!" Sakura practically shrieked and slapped me. "He has a sense of perfection to uphold, and YOU'RE going to ruin it."

"And all he needs is a purse…" I grumbled, rubbing my hand on my sore cheek.

WHAM! Sakura slapped me again. "I heard that!" She said stalking off to her place next to Sasuke leaving me to trail behind.

Correction, now I had two sore cheeks and no hopes of being anywhere but dead last, trailing behind everyone else, all because I wanted to talk.

But those bad vibes are still there… On such a beautiful day… What could go wrong?

Well I thought nothing could go wrong.

And boy, was I wrong.

* * *

Finally we arrived at Tsunade's office. After no sign of Kakashi, Sasuke had just started walking off, saying something like, he can figure out our mission later.

So here we all were at the mission headquarters, and to god I swear, there were some fucking bad vibes coming from this place.

So after staring at the building for long enough to look like a complete idiot, I ran over to catch up with Sasuke and Sakura who were ahead of me since they didn't think stopping to stare at a building was entertaining or worthwhile.

Seeing nothing better to do, Sasuke picked up a magazine and began to flip through it, taking a seat as he flipped through it.

Sakura sat next to him gleeful to get more time to stare at Sasuke with no interruptions… Or so she thought.

I plopped down in a seat, panting and heaving from running all the way into catch up with them. Finally, having caught my breath and not coughing up a lung, I scanned the room and quirked an eyebrow at Sasuke.

"Cosmopolitan?"

Obviously, I was the only one who'd noticed but Sakura didn't seem to care. "He's getting in touch with his feminine side like you should!" Sakura snapped throwing another issue of the girly magazine at me and hearing the satisfied smack and the ruffling of pages when it hit me on the head. "Like you should!"

"Ow…" I muttered getting smacked with a particularly sharp corner of what I now considered a deadly weapon. "They could make a shuriken out of the corners of these if they recycled them…"

"Yeah yeah, shut up and stop complaining." Sakura snapped throwing another magazine at me, a J-14 one.

I curled up in a little ball and focused my gaze on the wall trying to forget just how much it hurt that they hated me. That kiss was only accidental, I mean Shikamaru bumped into me and well… My thoughts flickered on through my head like they were being projected on a movie screen to the tune of coughing, sneezing and the occasional turning of pages.

It didn't seem like Sasuke would be getting bored of Cosmopolitan anytime soon, that girly twat!

Oh yes, he was so going to get back at Sasuke when Sakura wasn't around. The concept of revenge was something Naruto enjoyed and he rubbed his hands together gleefully going over a list of numerous pranks to pull on the damned bastard Uchiha, when Sakura disappeared to do something other than be the freaking leech she was.

Finally after what seemed like two hours and was in actuality two hours, Tsunade called them in at the same time Kakashi burst into the office. "Where the fuck were you?" he screamed. "I've been all over town looking for you three, you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack disappearing on me like that!"

"Hatake, please. Calm yourself, these children don't need to hear that kind of language."

"Fuck, you should try searching all over town to find your damn team who aren't at the meeting place where they should be."

"CALM DOWN!" Tsunade screamed stealing Sasuke's issue of Cosmopolitan and earning a "Hey, I was reading that!" from Sasuke, and chucked it at Kakashi.

"We thought if you were going to be late, too bad for you. We didn't want bad conduct marks because we're never the late ones, it's you." Sasuke muttered still disgruntled at the loss of his Cosmopolitan magazine right in the middle of the article of "How to tell what hair colour goes with which eye colour and how to change your facial structure to make it look better if your eyes don't match your hair just right"

"Well I need you all to step into my office and get your mission like you came here to do." Tsunade said calmly wishing they'd just leave so she wouldn't have to deal with them. And she was definitely wishing she hadn't decided to assign them this mission, but she had no choice.

"I've decided to assign you an A-Class mission."

"YEAH!" I shouted punching the air with my fist.

"Well, we'd like to consider this an A-Class mission because if you screw up you'll screw up Konoha's social status."

"I won't screw up, I'll… Social status! What the fuck?"

"I know, I definitely don't want to assign a group of social misfits this kind of a mission, but we're short of the shinobi that could handle this sort of mission."

"So here's the mission: You're invited to attend the party of the popular author, Ryoichi Kohaku celebrating her 100th release. It's going to be a very, very big function with lots of celebrities and therefore you're expected to er… attend. Problem is we're so poor and have no status we can't get in. That's why we're sending shinobi. You have to get in unnoticed and sort of stay that way at the party. Attract attention from all the right people, and make sure they think people from Konoha were actually invited. Make sure the people who know the entire guest list by heart don't fine out. It's a C Class mission for the most part getting in and staying in. But it's an A Class mission in the part that if you fail there goes the little social status our small village has!"

"And don't think I chose you three specifically. We couldn't choose any normal people with no skills whatsoever of breaking in. And all the other ninjas are either too inexperienced or away on sick leave, vacation, mission, taking a break. If you embarrass our village, you will all suffer the consequences."

"Sakura, I know you're smart and sensible in this sort of thing. Think you can get them half decently dressed and make sure they don't do something stupid and embarrass our village."

"Oh I'll make sure they don't step out of line…" Sakura grinned manically cracking her knuckles a symbol of not to mess with her. She was all riled up because of Tsunade's stupid speech about this dumb mission.

But nonetheless she was still scary. I gulped tugging at the collar of my jacket and backed off to give her space hoping I wasn't the one she attacked first.

Damn, I knew those bad vibes weren't a good sign…

* * *

Yeah, I was definitely pissed off. A tuxedo. Sakura had suggested we travel as two couples. And Tsunade had agreed to it. That meant one of us had to cross-dress… Ouch.

Sakura had outright suggested I dress as a girl and go with Kakashi and she with Sasuke. But Tsunade pointed out it would look funny to have a cross-dressing man with a younger boy.

She suggested Sakura, the only real girl pair up with Kakashi for the night. And that Sasuke dress up like a girl as he would obviously be the best choice since everyone admitted he looked girlier and might actually be able to fool the guards.

It wasn't like they absolutely had to attend like this. But they had to if they wanted to attract less suspicion, so that meant two couples not three boys and one girl. People knew how ninja cells were set up, they weren't stupid, they'd find out somehow.

So Tsunade had left us with this, "You could cross-dress to make the mission easier, but if you get caught you're dead meat and I'll blame Sasuke."

Which could only mean low caliber missions for them, or they could be stuck without Sasuke. In comes peer pressure, where I decided to get on Sasuke's case to force him to wear the damn dress.

"Who said I wouldn't wear it?" he snapped.

This is where matchmaking came in, but not on my part. No I hated Sasuke's guts. Hated.

Kakashi walked over and fell into step beside them. "Oh Sasuke, I think I should choose the dress for you."

"Bugger off!" he snapped, rather loudly I might add. "You'll just pick something perverted."

"Actually I was thinking something in a nice Japanese or Chinese style."

"Oh bug off."

"You've been watching too many of those British reality shows… Do they still show 'A British Makeover'?"

Sasuke started coughing, a sign that Kakashi was dead right.

"How about that one?" He said pointing to a window with a dress which was read with tons of spiraling crisscrossing lines. It reminded me of that spiral thingy on my stomach with all the funky patterns. I'd always thought it was there as one of those latest fashion things.

"No way in h…" Sasuke couldn't even finish his line before Kakashi had whipped the door open and shoved him inside.

"Oh my how are you today sirs and madam?"

"Oh it's not for me." Sakura said point blank. "It's for him." And she pointed to Sasuke.

The manager just stared mouth agape. "Excuse me?"

"It's for him, for a mission. You know…"

"OH!" The manager said as if he was finally catching on. "I'm sorry, I should have realized sooner. Anything particular you have in mind?"

"The one in the window." Kakashi said pointing in the direction of said window.

The manager took it down and nodded at it. "It'd suit him very well, and help him get in touch with his feminine side."

And no matter girly Sasuke acted, I noticed the blush that covered his face did indicate he was a man, even if he tried to hide it by staring at his feet.

* * *

"You're lucky Sakura offered to lend you one of her bras."

"You're lucky I don't fucking kick your ass." Sasuke was back, and he definitely was telling his girly side to fuck off. He woulda ditched the purse at the side of the road if he had one, I guessed.

"So we're all prepared then?"

"Besides the fact that I have to get through a high up window in a dress I'm good." Sakura said.

"Well you try getting in a window with a dress and boxers on." Sasuke snapped.

"Dude, Too much info." I commented.

"Shut up, when you do this, then you can say that. Until then, I'd like to see you try without complaining. It's not like I can wear girly underwear, unless I take pride in giving my gender away as a cross-dressing freak."

"Wow, did you always complain like this?"

"I can push you out of the tree."

"But that would give us away…"

"If you deserve it, I don't give two shits."

"BOYS! I know you two have the love for one another and the act is working well. You'd certainly fool me into thinking that you were a couple, but can't you at least wait till you're inside?"

Kakashi sported a double slap, which was followed by two voices in unison saying the exact same thing, "We're not a couple."

* * *

The party was some sort of a grand success if you could call it that. Sasuke and Naruto were passed off as the perfect couple, but Kakashi had problems holding up his end of the lie.

"I married her because she looks so young!" He said, listening for the eruption of laughter which was supposed to come, and did follow the comment. "Isn't that right Sakura?"

She just smiled and as they moved on to make small talk with another group of people she whispered out of the corner of her mouth, "You are so dead when this mission ends."

Kakashi's back stiffened and from lack of anything else to do, he nodded.

* * *

Things with Naruto and Sasuke weren't going all that much better. Kakashi had assigned them to meeting the actual author since they'd easily passed under radar and could pass under radar of the celebrity herself, Ryoichi Kohaku.

"Oh hello, and your names are?" Kohaku exclaimed bending over as they were smaller then her and she would consider them children due to the fact that they weren't yet eighteen or even sixteen.

"I'm Naruto."

"Sasu…Sasuke."

"Aw you guys look so cute together."

"Guys?" I hurriedly exclaimed hoping she hadn't caught on.

"Well I'm not saying your girl friend's a boy, it's just a saying you know. But the way you're jumping around…"

"N...No! I just never heard that saying used." I exclaimed hoping to keep from slipping further into that pile of shit, and prayed to god she wouldn't find out.

"Oh… Well isn't your girlfriend sweet? Hello there Sasuke-chan."

"She sure is friendly." I muttered watching Sasuke's back stiffen from afar. People sure liked to do that recently.

"Aw how come you guys aren't holding hands? You sure don't act like a couple, even though you guys look like one!" She fit Naruto's hand into Sasuke's.

"I know!" The spontaneous Kohaku exclaimed. "You're so cute I want to take a picture of you two… But it has to be special…. Hm…" She tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"I know… Could you guys kiss… For me… Please?" She said pulling out a small digital camera, silver in colour and portable. What scared Naruto was where she had kept it, she wasn't wearing a purse…

"WHAT!" I screamed nearly choking on my own spit.

"Oh, I understand, if you don't want to." She said motioning to put the camera back.

Oh, I was in deep shit now. I was just making it seem like I was gay and well… I didn't want that. I'd have to prove it.

"No I do. I was just… Surprised that's all." I said doing a very Hinata like gesture, blushing while pushing my index fingers together.

"Oh goody!" Kohaku exclaimed bringing the camera back up to her face and positioning it to take a picture.

Sasuke looked at me as if I was crazy and was about to follow along to my reaction, and well, I couldn't have him doing that, revealing to the world his loud, manly voice.

So I pulled Sasuke close and forced a kiss on him. At first his eyes were wide with shock, but slowly he closed them and deepened it. I bit his lip, practically asking to be granted entrance to his mouth and was given it.

I distinctly heard the click of a camera in the distance and could see the flash through my eyelids, but I couldn't distract myself from my current task… which I happened to be enjoying.

When I pulled apart for air, and for the fact that if I got horny a whole room worth of people would know. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was of course Sasuke and he… was that disappointment? Did he actually enjoy that?

There would be a lot of questions to ask when we got back from the party.

Kohaku squealed, "You guys are soooooooo cute!" She gathered Sasuke and I in a hug.

"What are you doing…" I asked her hoping nobody could hear.

"I know your girlfriend is a man, and you're both gay, and you're trying to hide it, and doing quite a good job if I say so myself. Now if you let me base my hundred and first story on this, I won't tell the world this happened because I could blackmail you with the picture."

"You blackmailing bitch." I snarled trying to make it as soft as possible.

"Aw, I don't plan to tell. But I will if you don't let me base my next book on you two, I promise I won't use your names or the picture, but I'm going to use your personalities."

Her blue eyes sparkled. "Please."

Ah, the chibi look of doom. "Fine."

She squeezed us tighter and I heard Sasuke choke trying to get some more air.

"Uh, could you let go of us now?" I managed to choke out.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kohaku squeaked letting go of us.

"You might want to leave before someone finds out his boobs aren't real." She said pointing to his misshapen chest.

"I'll lead you out so you don't attract attention. You bring any friends along?"

"Yeah, two." I said following Kohaku out.

"Oh one second." She said as she passed by her computer. "I'd love to save this picture now."

After doing something that was too complicated for me to comprehend, the computer spat out a copy of the picture of Sasuke and Naruto kissing.

"Here you go." She said. "As a souvenir."

I would have crumpled it up, but then I remembered what kind of revenge I could use it for on Sakura.

"Oh there's Sakura and Kakashi! HEY!" I called over.

"Hey." They both said simultaneously.

"Kohaku offered to escort us out." I said.

"Aw you guys are so cute together.. But aren't you a bit old… For her…"

"She just looks young!" Kakashi practically spat out.

"I tried…" Kohaku muttered steering the now ungrateful guests toward the door and slamming the door in their faces.

"Did we fail?" Sakura asked whimpering. "I don't want to have to tell Tsunade we failed because of Kakashi!"

"No I don't think we failed…" I muttered.

And so we walked home to the sounds of Sasuke's pained cries and strings of curses.

"You try walking in high heels." He snapped when he stared at him blatantly.

And so we parted ways, still hearing Sasuke's frustrated cries and finally a far off sound of what could only be the high heels hitting a tree.

* * *

"So, did you fail?" Tsunade asked the next morning when we gathered in her office.

"I don't know, it felt like we did." Sakura cried, biting her fingernails in sheer nervous despair.

"Well… did you enjoy yourself at all?"

Sasuke and I both blushed. "What happened?" She said eying the pair.

I slipped the face down photograph across the desk, and she turned it right side up; holding it up to the light to get a closer look.

"No, judging from this you didn't fail. What did she say?"

"She sort of asked to use the idea in her next story."

"And you agreed?"

"Yes…"

"Good. You did not fail. You are excused."

* * *

"What the hell did you show her to change her mind?" Sakura snapped at me out in the hall.

"Oh just the picture of Sasuke and I kissing." I said sneakily winking at her.

"You are so dead." Sakura said so quietly. Usually when people got quiet like that, it was **not **a good sign.

"Who would've thought they'd be a couple?" Kakashi muttered to himself at the same time Tsunade did watching from their different places.

Sakura was currently chasing me down the hall and I was running from the numerous flying objects being hurled at me. "Stop being so angry." I cried running from her vicious wrath.

"Sakura." Kakashi stepped in. "Don't waste your time, there are plenty of other men you could date who'd give you the time of day."

"You're so right Kakashi, there are plenty more fish in the sea. I'll go see Neji." And with that Sakura dashed out leaving Kakashi with his mouth agape and Naruto hiding in the corner continuously repeating "I s she gone yet?" and Sasuke just standing there watching as it all happened.

"But she was supposed to come running to me!"

"Oh don't worry about it. Try Iruka, I think he likes you." I said, wrapping my arms around Sasuke and snuggling into his chest for the perfect happy ending. And with my luck, Sasuke actually didn't mind being hugged. I figured he was probably as gay as I was.

"I will!" Kakashi exclaimed gleefully rushing off to go find his new lover forever, Iruka.

And such was how the story ended, with Naruto and Sasuke hugging like the perfect couple, Sakura giving up what could have been a great relationship with Kakashi in search of other love, and Kakashi and Iruka getting together because I said so.

And that was the end because it was happy.


End file.
